First things first...HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY, ANDREW CHARLES HARNER!!! I love you :)
Secondly, my friends Devin and Steph provided me with some insight last night. The title of my previous, and first blog entry, was called "I guess I'm not a virgin anymore." I wanted to clear up a misconception that that may have lead to. I am a virgin. I was referring to the fact that I hadn't written a blog up until that point, hence me not being a virgin anymore. So, once again, I am a virgin. I repeat, Mom and Dad, yes I am a virgin. Is it hot in here?!?! :/.....
I want what most women want when asked this question. I want to have FINALLY gotten a New Year's kiss. I want to be able to say that I FINALLY had a valentine. I want to have found love. I want to have a child, with one on the way. I'd like a house that I can be proud of (with a trash can full of flour). I want to be a stay-at-home mom until my 2 kids are old enough to be at home alone. Then I want to go back to a job that I'm good at, and that I love. I want to live closer to my parents and siblings...right now we are all so spread out. Speaking of geography, I'd like to live closer to some of my old high school and college friends, so that all our kids can grow up together. I want to be so much more in love with Jesus.
I went out tonight to see "The Dilemma" with my friend Marcie. It was a funny movie, but not as funny as I thought it would be. It's not your typical Vince Vaughn flick. Then we headed to Menchie's for some frozen yogurt, which was delish.
It's funny how you really don't know what you have until it's gone. I find myself wishing and hoping to return to a place of comfort and normalcy, even though that same place scared me like nothing ever has. Why do I long and miss something that I chose to run away from? Why is something that should be giving me "butterflies", making me run away out of fear? Instead of letting go, my walls only creep higher. Regret can really sting. But isolation is toxic.
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