Monday, January 31, 2011

Day 19: Disrespecting your parents

I will never forget when I said a cuss word in front of my mom.

I knew what would happen, she had been very clear.  Maybe part of me just assumed she wouldn't follow through with it.  I remember it was summer time, and I had been outside playing.  I came inside because I was mad about something.  Come to think of it, I don't even remember which cuss word I said.  Well, that doesn't even matter.  The point is, my mom heard me.  She grabbed me by my arm and brought me to the downstairs bathroom in the Connecticut house.  I don't remember her saying very much to me, she didn't have to.  What was coming was punishment enough for me.  She made me open my mouth, and she stuck a large bar of soap on my tongue.  I was told to leave it there for one minute.  She left the room.  I was too scared to take the soap out of my mouth before a minute was up because, well, Mom saw everything.  And I mean everything.  I don't know how she did it, but she always knew.  So I stood in that bathroom that summer day for a minute with a bar of soap in my mouth.  I have never cussed infront of her to this day.

As kids, disrespecting your parents is second nature.  That's how I feel, anyways.  It's typical, normal.  It's what kids do.  That doesn't make it right.  But I don't know a single person who has never disrespected their parents.  Some kids grow out of that "rebel" phase.  Some kids, it takes a little longer.  I think it's important to respect your parents.  You may not always agree with them, but I think kids should try to respect their parents as much as possible.  In my family, we were to follow all house/parent rules until we graduated from college.  I remember wanting to get my belly button pierced so bad in college.  But my mom and dad warned me that if I decided to get it pierced before I graduated, they would stop paying for college.  So, logically (at least for me, it was a no-brainer), I waited.  And a month after I was done with classes, I went with one of my co-workers at the time and got a pretty blue ring in my belly button.  Still wear it to this day.  And I love it!  And I'm so glad that I waited :)

The "other" Cassie ;)  This girl is precious!  She's my very dearest red-haired friend.  I've known her since September 2008.  We both worked at the same agency.  I remember my first impression of her was her ohhh sooooo friendly attitude!  She was easy to talk with, engaging.  She always had some funny forward on her phone from her mom or step-dad.  We sometimes did school routes together so we could spend the day hanging out.  Then she went and moved up to Indiana :(  She got me THE best birthday gift I've ever to my first ever Patriots game!!!  I was so excited!!!  We drove up to Chicago and stayed with my mom and dad for the weekend of the game.  It was sooo cold!  I bundled up in snow pants and my mom's huge, warm North Face coat.  It was one of those classic games, the ones that they will show one day on ESPN Classics.  The snow was falling, the crowd was rowdy.  A very memorable game.  I will never forget that day.  Thanks again, Cass, for the tickets AND for braving the cold with me to watch a football game between 2 teams you don't care for.  That's true friendship :)  You are a one-of-a-kind!  Cassie, you are funny, quirky, loyal, considerate, a good cook, thoughtful, sweet as candy, and trustworthy.  I will love you forever, friend!  Looking forward to you coming to visit me in a month when we go get our massages!!!! :)

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Day 18: Your beliefs, modified

*I have decided to go ahead and delete the previous paragraph that some of you have already read.  I recieved some strong opinions about what I wrote regarding what I believe.  I must say,  I didn't mean to offend or judge anyone.  I'm truly sorry if I did.  Anyone who knows me, knows that that is not in my character.  I was simply listing what I, Meghan Harner, believe.  I wasn't looking for a debate or conversation, and I also wasn't expecting other people to leave their beliefs.  I was just writing my own.  This blog is a look into my life and what I think.  Everyone is different, and thinks differently.  That's the beautiful thing about life...we aren't the same.  So agree to disagree.  We are all adults.  You may not like what I write on here, and that's ok.  It's mine.  Read if you like, or don't.  But please take it for what it's my blog about what I think.*

I've known Steph since October 2010.  What is that, like, 4 months?  Boy oh boy, I feel as though we are those kinds of friends who really hit it off, and it seems a though we've known each other forever.  She moved here with her husband Luke from Indiana for a job.  They started coming to Bible study every week.  I remember the very first time I saw Steph.  It was at Menchie's, this little frozen yogurt place.  I knew she was new to the group, but I was shy and wanted to talk to the other people I already knew in the group.  So I didn't introduce myself.  I don't remember our first meeting.  All I know is that I was drawn to her by her humor and fun spirit.   And pretty much from the beginning, we were almost inseparable.  Wednesday nights were our nights to spend hanging out.  She would come to my place one week, and then the next week I would go to her place.  We'd watch movies, go to Kroger, Sonic or cook for each other.  Now our day has changed to Mondays for "The Bachelor" and because she is joining the church choir which meets on Wednesdays.  Whenever I know that I'm gonna be able to see Steph, I get super excited!  She is hilarious, fun, real, straightforward, dependable, good cook, clean, good dresser, shameless, caring.  She makes living in Nashville fun.  I'm so very much looking forward to getting to know her even better :)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Day 17: Your highs and lows of this past year

Highs of 2010
*July was 3 years that I've lived in Nashville
*my youngest sister was married/graduated from college
*one of my best friends from high school had her first baby
*my other sister moved out of a crappy apartment and got her own place (finally!)
*got a Wii for Christmas

Lows of 2010
*didn't plug into my church
*no New Year's kiss

Friday, January 28, 2011

Day 16: Your views on mainstream music

I listen to mainstream music.  Some of my favorite songs are secular ones.  People aren't defined by what music they listen to.  If it's not hurting you or others, listen to it.  I have my days when all I want to listen to is some good, old Christian praise and worship music.  It puts things back in perspective and keeps me in check.  But I don't think there is anything wrong or sinful about listening to mainstream music.

Speaking of music, I've been thinking a lot about cool music collaborations I'd hope happen someday.  I think Justin Timberlake and One Republic should do a song, as well as Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars...your thoughts????...

Some other random things I'm thinking about tonight...I really want to meet Ryan Seacrest.  I thought of another name I like for a girl.  Palmer.  Maybe Palmer Grace.  Or Palmer Leigh.  Just a thought.

Just wanted to take a brief moment to encourage the men out there.  Something I've been struggling with lately is my frustration with men and the games that some of them play.  I know some girls do this as well, but right now I'm talking to the men.  Girls don't like games.  Girls like communication.  Girls like honesty.  Girls like maturity.  I feel like I should be saying "women" instead of "girls."  Women want you to flat out tell them if you like them more than a friend.  Women aren't mind readers.  Women don't know what men are thinking or feeling.  Women need to hear those words..."I like you and I wanna take you out."  That's hot, women will respond to that.  I don't care how obvious you think you are being to a woman you like.  Just, for your sake and womens' sake, use your words and TELL HER.  Chances are you will get a positive response from her.  If you don't tell her, you only have yourself to blame when she finds someone else.  Men, if you tell a woman you like her more than a friend and she doesn't feel the same way, it's ok.  She will have so much respect for you because you simply let her know how you feel.  And if it goes sour, at least now you know and you're not wasting your time and emotions on someone who doesn't feel the same way you do.  It allows you to let go and continue searching for your "the one."

I've touched on this before, but I'm feeling a strong urge to bring it up again.  The worst feeling in the world is feeling as if you are being avoided or ignored.  It makes me want to buy a bebe gun and go shoot baby chipmunks.  Seriously.  I can't handle it.  TALK TO ME!!!  Ignoring it won't make it go away, it will only make it worse.  So, when you say you're going to come visit for the weekend, and then don't answer or return phone calls from the people who YOU asked to stay with confirming that you're still coming, it's not looking good.  You're making people not want to be around you.  Trust me.  You're flaky, inconsiderate and rude.  Don't call me, don't message me, don't anything me.  I'm done.  I'm done wasting my time on you.  You're exhausting.

Staci and I go waaaaay back.  I've known her since 2003.  We both went to IWU, she was a year younger than me.  She was on my floor in Carmin Hall.  Honestly, I forget how we met.  Staci, do you remember???  We were both Carmin lifers if I remember correctly.  I remember having some really good laughs with her, watching NFL games together but that was later on in our friendship.  She's a Colts fan, and I'm a Patriots fan.  I mean, it's pretty much like Romeo and Juliet.  Only not cuz we are both chicks.  Anyways ;)...we hit it off and have been friends ever since.  She could quite possibly be one of the most loyal friends I have.  She's one of those friends who would go murder someone with me.  I'm serious!  She ALWAYS has my back.  She looks out for me, checks on me.  She reaches out -- our friendship is a 2-way friendship.  I don't have to work very hard with her friendship, it just is.  I can count on her.  She gets fired up about stuff with me, she cries with me, she is a smartass with me.  I just love her.  I miss going to IWU baseball games with her, because I had so much fun and she was the only one who would go with me.  I love you for that, Staci.  I have such fond memories with you, and I'm looking forward to many more!  Staci is funny, outgoing, loving, competitive, fun, loyal, sometimes intense (in a very good way), caring and supportive.  Staci, I love you darling and I can't wait til I see you next :)

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day 15: Your favorite Tumblrs

I have absoloutely no idea what Tumblrs is.  I googled it, and I still don't know sooo...I'm not doing this day.  I'm halfway done with this challenge business.  Not sure what I will write about once I'm done.  But here's the official list for the 30 Day Challenge for those who want to do it:

30 Day Blog Challenge

The last couple days my blogs have been posted earlier and earlier in the day.  So when I do my blog for the next day, I'm spending that blog talking about the second half of the previous day.  I don't care, I feel like when I have ideas that I want to talk about I need to just write them down.  Otherwise, there's a good chance that I will forget later. 

Last night I went to SOAK at Oasis (the church I attend) with Jenn and Cassie.  SOAK happens once a month, and it's a few hours of just praise and worship.  No sermon.  The music is contagious, it gets to the core of you.  Even repeating the same couple of lines over and over again really make you think about the words you are singing, and what they mean for you individually.  It's life-changing.  I felt alive when I left.  Having an encounter like that with your Creator will do that to you.  I've heard speakers and pastors say that worship and your relationship with God isn't about emotions or what you feel, it's an action.  And yes, love is an action.  However, over the years, I have come to completely disagree.  I believe that, first of all, worship is between you and God and no one should/can tell you how you should be when you do it.  Second of all, the purpose of worship is not about you, it's about praising and exalting the One who created you.  Third of all, if the worship/praise is genuine and truly from your soul and you are connecting with Him, you most definetely should experience some sort of reaction/emotion/feeling from God -- love, forgiveness, mercy, redemption, joy.  It's hard for me to believe that someone who is truly praising God (which, by the way, we were created and designed to do in the first place), wouldn't feel something through that encounter.  If you don't, then maybe you need to have a heart-to-heart with God and get where He wants you to be.  But again, that's between you and Him.  All that to say, I met God last night.  I did cry.  I felt loved, I felt a renewed sense of hope about my life.  God is in control of everything. 

Last night, Pastor mentioned something that stuck out to me.  He said, "Don't waste a wilderness."  If you are going through a hard, difficult time don't keep it to yourself and wallow about it.  Praise Him for being enough!  Praise Him for being there!  Praise Him for having your situation in His hands!  Know that you aren't going to stay in the wilderness, you're moving through it!  He's refining you, fashioning you into the person He wills you to be!  So when you are in the valley, keep your head up.  Push forward in confidence, knowing that you don't walk alone.  Be encouraged that God will bring you through.  And that way, when you get to the other side, you will be able to help others get through their wilderness.  So don't waste your wilderness...lean on Him and stay steadfast.

I am blessed today :)

It's your turn, Mrs. Westerfield ;)  Andrea Westerfield.  I LOVE that girl!  I've known Andrea since September of 2008.  I started working at the agency I work at now, Mental Health Cooperative.  She was a case manager on my team.  My first impression of Andrea was that she was short like me, and that she was me.  I was able to shadow her while I was in my training period, and I liked the way she worked with her clients.  We both had a Christian foundation, and she always seemed to steer clear of the drama at work (we work with 90% women).  Low and behold, she had a beautiful Chesapeake Bay Retriever puppy who I also fell in love with (I love to babysit Cooper...when are you and Charlie going away for vacation again ;).  Every year for Christmas and our birthdays, we get together, go out to eat, and exchange gifts.  I look forward to it every time!  It's our tradition :)  I know that she is one of those friends that I will be close with for a very, very long time.  She's also somewhat of an inspiration to me...she went and got her MSW while still working, and did it in 12 months AND she did it with class.  She has moved up in the agency, and it's due to her good work ethic, integrity and professionalism.  I'm very proud of her :)  Andrea is classy, professional, loyal, fun, encouraging, funny, gives good advice, a great confidant, and has a servant's heart.  A memory that sticks out to me with Andrea, is when Cooper head-butted her in the face and broke her nose.  She came to work the next day, which happened to be the MHC anniversary party.  We were all trying to make her laugh because it hurt for her to laugh.  I know, it was mean.  Another memory I share with Andrea is this past Christmas.  We went to Carraba's for lunch to exchange gifts.  Afer Andrea had eaten about half her food, she found a short little hair in her food.  About 3 minutes later, I found a long hair in my food.  We informed that manager (who was really cute, member Andrea?!) and he not only comped our meals, but sent us home with 2 new full orders of the same dishes!  Two Carraba's meals for free!  Anyways, I love ya girl, and I'm very thankful for your friendship.  You definetely help keep me sane...and you help me save my words when I click "cut" instead of "copy" :)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 14: Your earliest memory

I remember being 6 or 7 years old, sitting on the floor in the bathroom in my family's Connecticut home.  My younger sister Meredith (who would have been maybe 3 at the time) was sitting on the toilet.  She was still potty training, and I wanted to help.  My mom had this book called "Every Little Girl Poops."  I had the book in my hands and was reading it to her, trying to help her feel comfortable using the big girl potty.  I was still learning to read at the time, so a lot of it was me looking at the pictures, along with memories of when my mom had read it to me.  I think maybe this encounter is on some Harner History VHS tape somewhere...

Speaking of toilets, random fact about absolute favorite kind of toilet paper is Angel Soft.  Perfect balance of softness and strength.

I've never been a fan of Oprah.  I think she is a very spiritually confused individual, and her and I disagree on almost everything.  I will watch her show every now and then, if it's about something I'm interested in, or if there is a celebrity on that I like.  Today she was talking with Goldie Hawn.  They began talking about marriage.  Did anyone else know that Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for 27 years, but aren't married?  I had no idea.  Anyways, Oprah asked Goldie how she has handled the "not getting married" questions for all those years.  Goldie answered, "I handle it by saying 'I don't want to be married.'"  She goes on to say that she doesn't see the reason for getting married, and that when she and Kurt asked their children years ago if they wanted them to get married, the children told them that they didn't want Goldie and Kurt to get married.  Oprah and Goldie then go on to discuss how women have the choice to get married or to not get married, and that it's an "empowering" and "important" choice.   Goldie then said, "I think marriage sometimes can incarcerate, or en-cage you, or imprison you if you do it for the wrong reasons."  She went on to say, "Psychologically, a lot of people change even when things are good, and sometimes there's a psychological change, like you know, the door went down, or the door closed.  So I always said if you're a bird in a cage, for me, then I love being in my cage, I love it.  But keep the door open."  I had to rewind this several times (DVR is amazing!) just to make sure I heard that correctly.  And as most of the world already knows, Oprah is anti-marriage as well.  I can't help but think that these 2 women are scared of commitment.  It's a cop-out.  Not getting married means there's always a chance to skip out when things get too hard.  Marriage is not a cage, and it's not to be restrictive.  It's not just a piece of paper you get at the courthouse either.  Marriage is an earthly union between a MAN and a WOMAN, with a divine honor God through their love of each other.  I cannot wrap my mind around couples who live together, spend decades together, have children together, but refuse to get married.  I think this is largely due to the fact that they don't understand what marriage really is, and why it was created.  What a warped, unfortunate way of thinking...and going through life.

My spotlight of the day belongs to Cassie.  I met her at the same place I met Jenn, just a year prior (2004).  That means we've been friends for almost 7 years.  Wow, Cassie!!!  For the record, Spring Hill Camp is a great place to meet people and make lasting friends.  Now back to Cassie...I didn't really have any interaction with her my first 2 summers at camp.  She was a Lead Counselor (over 3-4 counselors), and I was a wrangler (I was in the bard all day).  Our relationship really took off that third summer because I was a counselor.  She was such a great Lead and we bonded.  That was my last year at camp, but we became Facebook friends and kept in contact occasionally.  I knew she lived in Tennessee and was going to school outside Nashville.  I went down to visit her a few times with friends and had a blast!  I ended up moving to Brentwood in the summer of 2007, and she had just moved from Murfreesboro to Brentwood.  We got apartments right by each other (she lived in the apartment right beneath mine) and really hit it off.  The next year we were roommates.  After spending a year living together, I think Cassie got tired of living with me.  I don't blame her...I'm ultra clean, anal retentive with things.  I think we make better friends than roommates, for the record ;)  Her and I still live 2 minutes from each other, and we've been spending almost every day together for the last week.  She is a ray of sunshine in my life.  Cassie is hilarious, loving, funny, attentive, pretty, bubbly, fun, engaging, and spontaneous among other things.  I'm so very thankful to have her in my day-to-day life.  She's one of those friends that I hope I always live close to so that we can raise our children together.  She is an inspiration to me for her dedication and hard work in being healthy.  I can always count on her for a laugh.  We are so similar, her and's scary.  She deserves nothing but perfection and pure happiness in her life.  Here's to you, Cassie Marie...I so very much love you.

Wow, this sure is a long one (insert "that's what she said" here).  I never write this much when I blog.  Oh well, sometimes I just have things I need to get off my chest.  I guess today is one of those days.  Gotta go get ready for SOAK worship tonight at church with the lady-friends!  Until tomorrow...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Day 13: Somewhere you'd like to move or visit

 Couple things before I start...I'm part-watching the State of the Union.  I wonder if Tareq and Michaele Salahi are "crashing" it.  I may just watch the entire address JUST to see if I see her platinum blonde hair, and his nasty comb-over.  And I can't wait to watch SNL this weekend, to see how many skits are based off this speech of his...

I could see myself living in and raising a family in a small coastal town in New England...I love lighthouses!  I also could move to northern California or stay in the southeast, perhaps one of the Carolinas.  As far as places I would like to visit?...Ireland is at the top of my list.  Always has been, since I saw the movie "Far and Away" with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.  Those beautiful emerald hills, the history,  and those fun accents!  I also have a strong desire to visit Israel, Italy, Australia and Lithuania.  And seeing the place where James Dean (my all-time favorite celebrity) died in California with my dad.  I cannot travel enough!  I LOVE it :)

Why is it so difficult to have important conversations with people face to face?  I'm always worried about how the person will react, or what they will think of me.  I tend to over-analyze things, it's just a part of who I am.  I always think that it's gonna go bad.  But, looking back to previous conversations I've had, most of them have had a positive outcome and it's strengthened my friendship with that person.  What do you do, though, when that person isn't just a friend?  What do you do when you like that person more than a friend, or vice versa?  How do you say something that you feel, but you're afraid they may take it personal?  In the words of my friend Cassie, "You just go for it."  Maybe I will try that...

So I want to start doing something at the end of each blog.  I want to highlight a friend/family member of mine (high school, college, Nashville, Spring Hill) and talk about my friendship with them and what they mean to me.  Today I'm gonna start with my roommate Jenn.  I've known her for almost 6 years now.  We met in 2005 at a Christian summer camp we both worked at.  I was a wrangler, and she was a wrangler counselor, so we spent a portion of every day together.  Thinking back to that summer, I honestly don't remember what brought us together, drew us to one another.  But we clicked and our friendship last way past when camp ended that summer.  Turned out she went to college (Ball State) 25 min from where I went to college (Indiana Wesleyan University).  We traded back and forth, her spending nights with me @ IWU, and me staying with her in College Park.  I remember thinking to myself that we were so different from each other, why does she like me?  I mean, let's be honest...I can be pretty weird.  As our friendship grew, I realized that we both brought different things to the table.  We complimented each other, covered each others weaknesses with strengths.  And I love her for that.  When I moved to Nashville, I kept trying to talk her into visiting me.  I promised her that she would love it and want to move to Music City.   And a year later, she did.  I was so excited!  She's been here with me ever since summer 2008.  Jenn is beautiful, intelligent, confident, independent, friendly, loyal, encouraging, funny, and helpful, among many other things.  I am terribly blessed to have her in my life, and to call her one of my best friends.   So here's to you, Jenny Lynn.  I love you so very much and you mean the world to me :)

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 12: Bullet point your day

-Wake up
-Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth
-Go to 3 schools to visit kids
-Attend meeting at work
-Eat lunch with Cass and Jess
-Work in the office
-Do a home visit
-Go home
-Andrea, Cass, and Steph come over to watch "The Bachelor" with Jenn and I
-Write in blog
-Go to sleep

I think everyone should blog about their life, thoughts, experiences,'s so interesting to have a front seat into someone else's world.  Technology can be a blessing :)

I'm kind of excited that this month is almost over.  I'm ready for Feburary.  Not so much for Valentine's Day, but for my mom coming to visit me.  Cassie Morris is coming to visit, too!  Dan and Carrie's birthday party, Jenn's birthday.   My Grammy party, maybe a trip to Indiana with Cassie :)  It's gonna be a busy month!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Day 11: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up

 These are the first 10 songs that played:

1) "Our House" Crosby, Still and Nash
2) "Harder" David Gray
3) "Let It Be" The Beatles
4) "I'm The Only One" Melissa Etheridge
5) "Imma Be" Black Eyes Peas
6) "Stay Together For The Kids" Blink-182
7) "Something to Talk About" Bonnie Raitt
8) "Wonderwall" Oasis
9) "True Colors" Phil Collins
10) "I'm Gonna Be Alright" Jennifer Lopez

I had SUCH a good day!  Church was stellar this morning.  Pastor talked about how important thoughts are, and how it is crucial to inject the Word of God into our minds.  Please, if you have some spare time this week, check it out.  I will leave the link at the bottom of today's entry.  Had a great lunch after church, then ran some errands, took a short nap, headed to Lance's house for the NFC Championship game.  Then I went over to Carrie, Jess and Kate's for Bible study.  We just started a new book called "Crazy Love" by Frances Chan.  I'm looking forward to reading the book and dissecting it with the group.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Day 10: Discuss your first love and first kiss

Wow, finally in the double digits :)...

I love memories.  I love being able to hear a song, smell a smell, or see something that triggers a good time in my life.  I love going back, as they say.  Brings a smile to my face every time.  My first kiss is one of those precious memories that every girl holds on to.  My first kiss was just over 2 years ago.  A guy I had been talking to for several months (on the phone, long distance) had come to visit me in Nashville.  I really, really liked him.  He was such a good person.  I wanted to show him my cool Nashville spot called Love Circle.  It shows a view of the city from up high.  It was night time, so the skyline looked extra sparkly.  We were just standing there looking at the city, and he turned to me and said that he liked me a lot and enjoyed spending time with me during the weekend.  He then asked me to be his girlfriend.  I told him that, yes, I would.  I was so excited :)  Then he asked me if he could kiss me.  Yeah, I was a little nervous, but I was WAY more excited!  I turned to him and said, "Yeah, but I have gum in my mouth, is that ok?" (I need some help in the romantic department, lol).  He laughed and said it was ok, and he kissed me.  Now, as much as I would LOVE to go into details about that kiss, I must refrain.  I want to keep those precious moments and details between me and him.  Plus, a lady never kisses and tells ;)

As for my first love...I've never been in love.  I've never loved a man in a romantic way.  I look forward to the day that I realize I'm in love.  I think it's gonna be such a beautiful thing!  Scary, but beautiful.  And for the record, the closest I came to being in love was with the guy I shared my first kiss with.

So, today was day one of working out.  I went to the Y with Cassie.  I ran/walked a mile and then went to zumba class.  It felt really good to work out, I've missed it.  Then I came home and relaxed for a while and then went to the Listening Room downtown to hear some friends sing...WTG, Devin and Dan :)  I have such talented friends, I love it! 

I'm really looking forward to what is in store for me this year.  I can't help but feel as though I should have great expectations :)...

Friday, January 21, 2011

9: How you hope your future will be like

The Day 9 question is pretty much the same as Day 2...

It's the pretty much the same answer.  I hope to be married with 2 children.  I hope to have a fantastic career that I love.  I hope to live a comfortable life in a modest home.  I hope for a pair of beautiful yellow labs.  I hope to live close to all 3 of my siblings, so our children can grow up together.  I hope to have the time and means to do some serious traveling all over Europe, Africa and Australia.  A small part of me wants to make it as a singer or an's been a life long dream of mine. 

For the last several days, I've had a huge desire to move back to New England.  I'd like to live on the water, in a small town where tourists sometime come to have the "best lobster roll in the north east."  I just loved living up there, and I miss it a lot.  My brother and his girlfriend live up in Maine, and it would be nice to live close to them, at least for a little while.  And it would be a luxury to live with and near other Patriots fans again.  Something to think about, I guess.

I have such great friends.  I am so thankful for them!  You all know who you are :)

Thanks to Cassie, tomorrow is Day 1 of working out every day.  She is taking me as her free guest to the Brentwood YMCA to exersize.  Then we are gonna head to the steam room and sauna for some much needed relaxation.  I'm really excited!!!  Thanks Cass :)

I'm sitting here watching "The Benchwarmers" and if any of you haven't seen it, you's sooo funny!  It's got Rob Schneider, David Spade, Jon Lovitz, and the guy from "Napoleon Dynamite" in it.  Real funny.

Does anyone know when Girl Scout cookies come out again?!  I'm craving them...

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Day 8: A moment when you felt most satisifed with your life

At this point in my life, being a single woman, I would have to say that my moment would be when I graduated from college.  It took me 5 1/2 years to finish, but I did finish.  And that's the important thing.  Graduating college is quite an accomplishment, and I was very proud and satisfied.  Having a college degree leads to many other opportunities and opens a lot more doors than just a high school diploma.  I would encourage anyone who hasn't started college yet, or started and just hasn't finished yet, to work hard and earn a degree.  It's a wonderful, empowering feeling.

I heard another name that I like today.  Ronan.  I heard it on the tv.  I really like it.  I like it matched with Mase as a middle name.  Ronan Mase.  The more I say it, the more I like it.  Ronan Mase.  Ronan Mase :)....

So I was thinking earlier today, that I have a lot of celebrity crushes.  I'm sure I'm not thinking of everyone, but here's a list of the Hollywood men that have caught my eye:
*Joe Perry
*John Cena
*Tom Brady
*Wes Welker
*Jake Gyllanhal (sp?)
*Channing Tatum
*the hot guy from "Mad Men" -- the dark-haired guy
*Sam from "Glee"
*Damen and Stefan from "Vampire Diaries"
*Jon Krasinski
*Shia Lebuf (sp?)
*Jason Aldean
I will keep a running list as I think of more delicious men :)

There's a song that has been on my heart for several days now.  It's called "Love Is Not A Fight" by Warren Barfield.  It's such a beautiful song, a great picture of what love and marriage should be, and were created to be.  Here are the lyrics.
Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
Then committ to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do


Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all


I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?
It's worth fighting for

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 7: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality

I don't follow horoscopes at all.  Never have.  I don't see the point.  I think it's a scam and a waste of time.  All I know is that I'm a taurus, and I have no idea what that means.

"American Idol" begins tonight...SO EXCITED!!!!!  The auditions are my favorite part of the show :)

Every Wednesday at work,  I do a team building activity with my teammates.  Today we did an activity called "My Dream Trip."  They had 5 min to draw up a detailed plan about where they wanted to, how they were going to get there, and who they were going to take with them.  They had a month paid off of work, and an unlimited amount of money.  They did such a great job, it really made me think.  I've been to Canada, Venezuela, England, Greece and 48 states.  But there are so many more places I want to go:  Ireland, Israel, Australia, Italy, and pretty much anywhere in Africa.  It's been one of those days when I think to myself, "Man, it sure would be nice to have as much money as Oprah."  I just LOVE to travel and see new places, eat new food, learn a new language.  Life is so short, I just want to make sure I see everything!!!

I'm having a hard time getting motivated to begin working out consistantly.  I really, really want to exersize every day, but I just don't have that initial jump start that I need.  I wish I had a personal trainer, or maybe 1 or 2 friends to constantly be on me to work out and maybe even work out with me.  I really need to find some motivation.

 Just thinking about some names I like for future kidos:
Arriston Harner (boy)
Charlie Rose (girl)
Conner Grace (girl)
Ryder James (boy)
Harner Joseph (boy)
Ellie Jean (girl)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 6: Write 30 interesting things about yourself

I find that, sometimes, when I try to do something nice for someone else, I don't always get the reaction that I would expect.  Or like, for that matter.  I don't do nice things for others so that it makes me feel good.  I do nice things for others because it's the right thing to do and because I just plain want to.  So when I get a reaction that isn't reflective of what I've done for them, I get frustrated.  Does that make me a bad person?

It's draining to have people in your life who don't appreciate you.  It's difficult to be friends with people who are flaky, who you can't count on.  You'd be silly to count on them, because they only know how to disappoint you and let you down.  It is quite possibly my biggest pet peeve.  I mean, it's potentially a deal breaker with me.  I think this quote sums it up better than I ever could:  "Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option."  I try to live my life with people around me who want to be around me, and who put forth the effort to be there with and for me.  No one wants to be in a one-sided friendship.

Ok, onto 30 interesting things about me:
1) The first song I ever slow danced to was with this guy named Alex and it was to "God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You" by N'SYNC.
2) I took sociology 3 times in college (I thought it was a blow-off class :/...)
3) When I was in the 5th grade, I stole jolly rancher candies from my teacher every day.  I don't think she ever found out.
4) I have never been in detention, and never been sent to the principle's office.
5) When I was in the 2nd grade, I threw up all over myself on the playground and all the kids saw me.
6) I was fired from my job at Hallmark when I was a junior in high school.
7) Alaska and Oregon are the only 2 states I've never been to.
8) I used to dress up with my 2 younger sisters as a birds.  We would wear these flowy jean skirts around our necks and then flap our arms to make it look like wings.  I was the mommy bird, and Meredith and Mckenzie were the baby chicks.  Ohh, and we did this while synchronizing to classical music.  While my mom and dad watched.  Yeah...
9) I moved to Nashville on a whim.  With no job, no apartment, no friends.
10) I've only kissed 2 guys.
11) I used to have a severe phobia of the dentist.  I had a root canal last summer.  That phobia is now gone.
12) Roller coasters scare the crap out of me.
13) Ireland, Israel and Australia are all places I HAVE to go before I die.
14) I am a Disney movie freak.  I win Disney Scene It every time.
15) Dogs are my favorite animal.
16) When I was little, I watched the movie "Spalsh" with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah.  I then went to take a bath and poured salt in the bathtub, hoping I would turn into a mermaid.
17) My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.
18) I LOVE giving people presents.
19) My long term professional goal is to have my own private practice, where I provide therapy for either young women who have an eating disorder, or young children who have been sexually abused.
20) There is no other girl on the planet who is more of a sports nut than me...and perhaps Lucretia ;)
21) I'm not on the gossip/drama/caddy train like other girls.  I try to stay as far away from that as I can.
22) I dabble in all kinds of music, except reggae, techno and opera.
23) I'm next in line after Gisele for Tom Brady's affection.
24) I collect magnets of all the states I've lived in.
25) Secretly, I would be ok moving back to New England one day.
26) I love board games, but hate card games.
27) Some day, I want to go park at a spot near an airport and watch planes take off.  I've never done that.
28) I have a crush on John Cena.
29) My parents are my best friends.
30) The first time I ever had Easy Mac or Romen Noodles was in college.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day 5: A time when you thought about ending your own life

This is such a morbid question.  It doesn't apply to me.  I've never considered taking my life.

 Today was a good day.  Long, but good.  There are a lot of changes coming at work.  I'm not the biggest fan of change, never have been.  I like to know what's coming, I like what's familiar.  I like to be in control.  But I've learned that life is ever-changing and that I can chose to either ride along, or get my panies in a twist.  What a waste of time to worry about things you can't control.  I'm curious to know how much time we waste as human beings worrying.  Ugh, it's rediculous.  It's all about the attitude and how you choose to face change.

I got together with my lady friends tonight for "The Bachelor."  It's my guilty pleasure, and I don't care who knows it.  Brad Womak is hot!  I love my girls...shout out to Jenn, Cassie, Steph and Andrea :)  I hope he picks either Emily, Ashley S., or Jackie in the end.

Today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  I got a chance to hear his entire "I Have A Dream" speech on the radio.  It was very moving.  Our country has come such a long way.  I'm proud to be an American today.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day 4: My view on religion

I serve God.  I have a personal relationship with God.  My God loves me and meets me where I am.  My God saves, and my God redeems.  My God forgives.  My faith in God allows me to find truth in His word, and aids in the blessed assurance that Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father.

So my NFL season is over.  The Jets beat my Pats.  It would have been nice for them to go to the Super Bowl, but part of me is just ok for it to be over.  No more entire Sundays sitting on the sofa watching football.  No more basing my social life around games.  I can relax and focus on UCONN basketball, and then White Sox baseball in the spring.  Life is good :)

I'm really tired tonight, I hope to sleep well...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Day 3: Your views on drugs and alcohol

I'm having a hard time starting this entry.  I'm sitting here in my living room with my roomie Jenn and we are watching football.  Packers @ Falcons.  We already watched Baltimore @ Pittsburgh, which the Steelers won.  Steelers will play the winner of the Patriots/Jets game (which is tomorrow night) in the AFC Championship game.  I just love ADORE the game of football.  I don't think I could live without it.  It's in my blood.  My predictions for the rest of the year:  Falcons over Green Bay.  Chicago over Seattle.  New England over Jets.  NFC Championship with Falcons over Chicago, and AFC Championship Patriots over Steelers.  And then, obviously, the Patriots would win over the Falcons in the Super Bowl :)

I got new tires today!  I did some research (with the help of my pops) and got what I think was a good deal.  Got to spend some time with some fun friend-girls: Nicole, Cassie, and Jenn.  We went to the Belmont Mansion and the Country Music Hall of Fame, both for free.  The weather was b-e-a-utiful!!!!  

My view on drugs is black and white...don't do 'em.  Piece of cake, piece of pie.  And as far as using marijuna for cancer patients?...if it's prescribed by a doctor, go for it.  Who am I to tell a doctor and patient what could or couldn't work?  I'm just a social worker.  

Alcohol is a different story.  My favorite word to use when talking about alcohol is "moderation."  I grew up hearing my mom say that most things in moderation was ok.  To say "always" or "never" is just way too extreme.  I also grew up watching my mom and dad drink a glass of wine at dinner.  I have never seen my mom or dad tipsy or drunk.  I've never seen my mom drink anything other than wine.  My dad has an "annual beer" every year (usually with my little brother).  I have enjoyed sipping wine with my parents over Thanksgiving dinner since I turned 21.  I guess moderation has been modeled well for me, it's all I know.  I don't like the taste of beer, whiskey, gin and tequila.  And I don't like the carbonation in champagne, so that's out.  My drink of choice is white wine, Reisling to be exact.  And, I would say, 2-3 times a year I will be out with my friend-girls and I might get one mixed drink (which I don't even finish half the time).  My point is that alcohol is a choice.  Choose to be responsible.  It's just like the gun argument, guns don't kill people -- people with guns kill people.  Alcohol isn't the bad guy -- people who don't know their limit and CHOOSE to get drunk are the bad guys.  I'd also just like to point out that there are health benefits (good for your heart, and helps with digestion) to drinking wine in moderation.  For the record.


Friday, January 14, 2011

Day 2: Where you'd like to be in 10 years

 First things first...HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY, ANDREW CHARLES HARNER!!!  I love you :)

 Secondly, my friends Devin and Steph provided me with some insight last night.  The title of my previous, and first blog entry, was called "I guess I'm not a virgin anymore."  I wanted to clear up a misconception that that may have lead to.  I am a virgin.  I was referring to the fact that I hadn't written a blog up until that point, hence me not being a virgin anymore.  So, once again, I am a virgin.  I repeat, Mom and Dad, yes I am a virgin.  Is it hot in here?!?! :/.....

I want what most women want when asked this question.  I want to have FINALLY gotten a New Year's kiss.  I want to be able to say that I FINALLY had a valentine.  I want to have found love.  I want to have a child, with one on the way.  I'd like a house that I can be proud of (with a trash can full of flour).  I want to be a stay-at-home mom until my 2 kids are old enough to be at home alone.  Then I want to go back to a job that I'm good at, and that I love.  I want to live closer to my parents and siblings...right now we are all so spread out.  Speaking of geography, I'd like to live closer to some of my old high school and college friends, so that all our kids can grow up together.  I want to be so much more in love with Jesus.  

I went out tonight to see "The Dilemma" with my friend Marcie.  It was a funny movie, but not as funny as I thought it would be.  It's not your typical Vince Vaughn flick.  Then we headed to Menchie's for some frozen yogurt, which was delish.  

It's funny how you really don't know what you have until it's gone.  I find myself wishing and hoping to return to a place of comfort and normalcy, even though that same place scared me like nothing ever has.  Why do I long and miss something that I chose to run away from?  Why is something that should be giving me "butterflies", making me run away out of fear?  Instead of letting go, my walls only creep higher.  Regret can really sting.  But isolation is toxic.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I guess I'm not a virgin anymore...

This is my very first blog.  Ever.  Yeah, crazy.  And I'm not gonna lie...I'm a little intimidated.  I've never been the most eloquent of writers.  Hopefully having this blog will help me to improve.  Both of my younger sisters have blogs, as does my brother's girlfriend.  I guess I felt left out.  So here's to me.  Raise your glass (or bottle, Eliza ;) and toast, that this might be as, ahem, life-changing and enlightening as everyone says it is.

I thought I would start out easy, with a template.  I saw this 30 Day Challenge on Mckenzie's blog and thought I would try it out.  Day 1:  Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.  Well, I am single.  Have been for 95% of my life.  It's pretty much all I know.  It's hard to not like something when you don't really know any different.  Of course, I have my days where I stay in my room and watch "The Notebook" and listen to sappy emo songs all day, wishing I was with someone.  What single girl doesn't?  But most of the time I'm totally cool with it.  It's normal to me.  Who knows, maybe the year 2011 will be a good year for me in the love department.  I'm not holding my breath though.